Holidays...candy and crap :(

Ok, I like candy as much as the next mom (obviously :P) but I HATE that every single holiday revolves around food - mostly candy - for kids. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter - even the 4th of July is celebrated with many BBQs and treats for the kids!

I've always been concerned for the health of my children but with holidays, I get lax. I'm struggling with what to do with holidays now that Logan is diabetic. Christmas was different last December. With a newly-diagnosed diabetic in the family, we filled his stocking with NO candy. He did get some beef jerky but that was about the extent of the food. The poor kid restricts his diet enough on his own. I want him to be able to eat what the other kids around him have - with little thought on the differences it means for him.

I've really been struggling with Easter coming up...cuz what goes in an Easter basket except CANDY? We had an incident yesterday with candy. Logan didn't want to come with me to pick up Lexi's meds (she has strep) and go to the store. I told him I'd be home in a while and I took my phone with me. While I was gone, Logan took 1 unit of insulin and ate enough candy that he probably should have taken 3 or even 4 units. When I got home and asked him about it, his blood sugar was 247...and climbed to 263 in the next half hour before dinnertime. Of course, he didn't want to eat dinner since he'd eaten so much candy and didn't really feel that good because of how high his blood sugar is.

I NEVER get angry with Logan over his BG. I know it isn't easy being diabetic. I know that he's only 10 and doesn't realize the full severity of his disease. If we have an incident like this (or on the other spectrum, he took 7 units a couple weeks ago when he should have only taken half a unit), I try to use it as a learning experience. I want him to be as independent as he can be...but I know that he needs my help when determining how much insulin he takes. His guesses aren't as logical as mine are.

Back to Easter...sure, I may put some candy in the kids baskets but I think they'll be more full of small toys, a DS game and we may get a Wii for the family.

I Care

The other night as we were getting ready for bed and I was reminding Logan to take his Lantus (this kid is awesome - he takes care of all his own shots!), Alexia became upset. In her frustration, she angrily blurted out "All you care about is Diabetes and Dad!" Trying my hardest to keep my mood light, I responded "I don't care about Dad." I giggled. Lexi didn't think I was very funny but that did change the mood in the room.

I know that Lexi feels left out and ignored by the amount of time I spend micro-managing Logan's disease. I remind Logan many times a day about different things he needs to do to take care of himself. I constantly ask him about his blood glucose. We talk about every little thing he puts in his mouth. Poor Lexi has dealt so well with this for so long...but it's now to the point that she's feeling like I spend all my time taking care of Logan and not her.

I do care and I try my best to give each child some undivided attention. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like that's helping Lexi right now. I think we'll start some mommy/daughter dates as others have suggested. I just have to find the time.

Three Months

Where to begin? The last three months have been the longest three months of Logan's life.

Logan was born October 26, 1998, in Bountiful, Utah at the same hospital that I was born. On December 6, 2008, he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes...and the roller coaster began.

Because of my family history, I was expecting a diagnosis of diabetes for myself at some point in the future. I never expected my 10 yo son to get a Type 1 diagnosis. It was devastating.

I'm familiar with Type 2 Diabetes but I learned so much at Primary Children's during the two days Logan spent there. Tears were my friend as I began a journey of worrying so much that I couldn't sleep and didn't want to eat. After two days, Logan came home. There are so many changes to life that all started with this diagnosis.

My goal is to be the perfect mother that gets up early, showers and cooks breakfast before my kids even get up. I'll clean the house while they're at school each day. I'll spend all my time with them, helping them do their homework and just enjoying my time with them. Yeah, not gonna happen anytime soon.

I try to be a good mother but I struggle. I struggle with balancing my life; 40+ hours working each week, cleaning, laundry and being patient enough to enjoy playing with my kids. I love them with all my heart and I WILL get to be a better mother to them in my strides to help Logan take good care of himself while not ignoring Lexi at the same time.