Diabetes Camp Next Week

One week from today, I'll drop off my 10 year old son who has had diabetes for 6 months at diabetes camp. He'll be gone for 5 nights. The closer the day gets (and the more he reminds me that I scheduled it on Father's Day), the worse I feel. I've never been away from him for so long. He and his sister are my life. Everything I do is for them. I'll miss him sooooo much!

Pump Site Change Fiasco

Yesterday, the first day of Summer Break for my kids, was a disastrous site change. Logan's site was bothering him and even though I'd wanted to do his site change at night, we attempted it in the day.

My first and second problems were that I couldn't find the IV Prep and then I couldn't find R2D2 (the inserter). I thought I could clean the site with an alcohol swab and insert the site myself. Apparently, there's a reason they give you IV Prep. It didn't stick and we were stuck without a site in.

I manually inserted Logan's site and almost felt sick because I could feel the layers of skin even though I tried to go as fast as I could.

Since the site fell out so quickly, I tried to keep calm (this is only my second site change on my own since he got the pump). I called the Diabetic Center that I get all his supplies and asked if they were Rx or if I could just come buy them. They're not Rx.

I told the kids we had to leave right THEN and, miraculously, they knew where their shoes were and got them on immediately and we left. I did get roped into promising them ice cream once we had taken care of Logan.

Stupidly, I confused myself on the location of their office and was off by 10 blocks while Logan was in the back telling me he didn't feel good but he was refusing to check his blood. I pulled over and called the Center to get their address. When we got there, I told Logan he was not to get out of the car until he checked his blood. I went in and waited in line. Logan followed us in (I would have gone right back out if he hadn't come in within a couple minutes) and announced his blood sugar was 67 but he didn't want to eat the kind of crackers we had in the car. I gave him a glucose tablet that I keep in my purse and told him to sit in one of the chairs till it was our turn.

It took a while but we got our supplies and $85 later (not Rx items and the insurance wouldn't cover them since we just got them and lost them), we went back out to the car and inserted his site with no problems.

I get emotionally drained when things don't go smoothly. I really just wanted the day to be over. I called my husband and could see his office building while we were talking. I said that I just wanted him to come home with us...so he said to pick him up. He cleared it with work and left early to help take some pressure off me. It helped and it made me feel better having him home.

...and then my sister and bil came over to help install our new-to-us washer and dryer (which we got an awesome deal on!). Thank goodness because the other washer couldn't be used because it leaked horribly.

NOT a good first good day of summer vacation. :(

The PUMP!

We went to our appointment today thinking they would use a dummy pump to teach us how to use his MiniMed. When we got there - they had his PUMP there ready to hook up.

We are now on our saline trial till Monday morning when we'll switch to insulin.

I will admit I had a bit of a breakdown and I cried. All those mixed feelings coming out again. :P

SO CLOSE!

We go in to get training for Logan's MiniMed tomorrow afternoon. On Monday, we have a doctor's appointment at which he'll receive his new pump. He'll have a saline trial and at the end of the week is the last day of school. At that time, I'll switch him to insulin in his pump.

I have such mixed emotions. I've been dying to get a pump since he was first diagnosed nearly 6 months ago and yet, I still grieve for the change in his life. Sometimes, I ask "why us?" and other times, I just cry.

Will the grieving end? I still feel like such a novice at the Type 1 thing...will I ever be comfortable making decisions that affect Logan's body so much? I mentioned to my husband the other day that I honestly cannot believe that we've kept him alive and mostly healthy for this long...isn't that a horrible thought less than 6 months in?

I sometimes feel the pressure of this never-ending disease and weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. I have to stop my thoughts because it's just this eternal ring of 'what ifs' and 'why nots.'

At the end of every day, I thank God that my children made it through another day with no major catastrophies. I am so exhausted by the time we go to bed...I need a vacation from the diabetes and the worry.

Mother's Day

We spent Mother's Day at the in laws with the cousins. My kids spent some time with their cousin Sam playing in a creek by the house.

It was a great day. The kids played and entertained themselves. My husband and his brothers reminisced...lots of funny stories.

I got wii fit that Lexi's dying for me to get out so she can play. I think I'll finally do that today.

A1c Report Card

Anyone else feel like their child's A1c is their report card?

Two months into his diabnosis, Logan's A1c was 8.1. The doctor said it wasn't bad. The goal for his age group is anything below 8.

I bought a $9 A1c test at WalMart about ten weeks after the first A1c test and got the results today (they had my email address wrong and I should have called to check sooner)...ready to see my grade? 6.8! In ten weeks, his A1c dropped 1.4 points - I know some adults that are jealous of his A1c!!

One Step Closer

Got a call from the nutritionist clearing our week's worth of food logs that I faxed in on Monday. She recommended I double check what our second insurance will pay towards the pump and whether or not we need to order the CGMS with the pump or wait.

We have four and a half weeks left...and every time I watch my little boy give himself a shot, I can't help but wish I could be the one going through it rather than he. One day closer every day to a cure for all the children that suffer like mine...